Blog | The London School of Attraction

A Guaranteed Way to Make Her Feel Special

By Doug on June 12, 2013 in Psychology

cartoon married couple

So How Did You Two Meet?

On Saturday I read an article in the Times about a wedding. There was a whole section in the paper with stories of how couples had met, and one in particular caught my eye.

The couple getting married were both actors and they’d met while preparing for a play. They were staying in a country house, and every morning they woke up early to dance in the opulent grounds as the sun rose. The guy admitted that the idyllic location made falling in love easy.

It wasn’t long before I was thinking of an intense romance from my own experience.

A Romance in Uganda

The story made me think of a girl I met when I was travelling in Uganda one year. It was an intense trip and I was working on a project with a quick turnaround in a very alien environment. We were drawn to one another with an intensity that I’ve never experienced since.

I’m sure the context was a big part of it. In fact, I’ve heard soldiers and aid workers often say that romance in war zones is far more intense than back home.

How is this useful? We can’t recreate intense situations… or can we?

Create an Exciting Moment

What we can do is try to avoid normal, everyday, boring ways to meet people. Going up drunk to a girl in a bar or club or isn’t not intense – it’s about as exciting for her as watching paint dry. So perhaps we can something different. Perhaps we can do something that can creates an exciting context.

Go up to talk to a girl in a new way, a way she hasn’t experienced before. Go and say hello to her in park, in the coffee shop or in the museum. Tell her why you’re taking to her. Be honest! If things go well, this will create an incredible moment between the two of you. And rightly so – it takes incredible reserves of metal strength to risk rejection in this way.

Use context to help you. Create an intense situation by doing something out of the ordinary, something she’ll always remember.

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5 Great Places for Coffee in Soho

By Doug on June 12, 2013 in Videos

Online Dating Secrets – Video 3

By Doug on June 05, 2013 in Videos

How “The Tudors” Can Fix Your Love Life

By Doug on June 03, 2013 in General Advice

Image courtesy of Dave Edmonds

What Henry Ford Said

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
- Henry Ford (1863-1947), American founder of the Ford Motor Company

I’m two episodes in to a series on Netflix called “The Tudors”, which follows the young Henry VIII as he sleeps his way around the royal court. It’s pretty light, end-of-the-day viewing but something struck me last night that might make for an interesting blog post.

In this article I’m going to tell you how Anne Boleyn can teach you how to mix up your dating life.

Who Will Seduce the King?

In the last episode we were introduced to Anne Boleyn (who Henry has yet to meet). Anne’s father is trying to further his standing in the royal court by pushing his daughters onto the king. His first daughter Mary succeeded in seducing the king, but was left out in the cold pretty quickly.

When it comes to Anne, her father suggest she “play the King’s passions” – that is, play hard to get. Every other young girl (her sister included) has leapt straight into his bed, but Anne will try something totally different.

I can’t remember much of my GCSE history, but I do know that Henry and Anne ended up marrying. Crucially for our purposes, she did it by being less available not more available. (I’ve just checked Wikipedia and learned that she was beheaded three years after getting married…. I think my overall point is still valid though!)

Mix Up Your Dating Life

Now I haven’t written this article to suggest that you play hard to get. Instead, I’m suggesting that you mix things up.

So many people come to me complaining that their dating life is stale, that they just meet the same old people on the same old places. Well if you’re thirty and spend every Saturday night going out in Clapham and you’re still single… fun as Clapham may be, it probably isn’t going to get you into a relationship.

If you’ve been on fifty dates through Match.com and you’re still single, it probably isn’t working. You need to do things differently.

At The London School of Attraction we strongly recommend saying hello to anyone you find attractive. No matter where you are – be it a café, bookshop or even on the street – just go over and start a conversation. This will almost certainly present a big change in your approach. It’ll probably feel uncomfortable, but to get different results you need to adopt different behaviour.

Alternatives to Online Dating – Table Crowd

By Doug on June 01, 2013 in Videos

Online Dating Secrets – Video 2

By Doug on May 31, 2013 in Videos

Online Dating Secrets – Video 1

By Doug on May 30, 2013 in Videos

A Great Dating App

By Doug on May 30, 2013 in Miscellaneous

Alex and I are always thinking of ways to solve the market failure that is the London dating scene. Today I came across something that won’t be the solution, but is a neat idea.

The app is called Lulu and the basic premise is that women can go on and rate/promote men they think are good to date.

I’m not sure if it’ll catch on or just get a bit of press buzz and die, but it’s a good idea. If they can get people engaging it as more than a bit of fun it could do well.

Not going to be much use in the UK at the moment, but if you’re based in the States check it out.

A Ladies’ Guide for What to Wear on a Speed Date

By Doug on May 29, 2013 in Dating Advice for Women

Image courtesy of Allie Hylton

We hope that most of the articles on this site will be of interest to both men and women. But we thought it would be handy to create a category exclusively for our female readers. In these articles you can find all our dating advice for women with everything from how to approach guys, how to touch a guy, how to know if a guy wants to kiss you and how to ensure that you get a second date (and beyond).

It can be tricky enough deciding what to wear to a normal date, let alone a date that involves meeting various different men all in a very short space of time. You’ll want to make sure you put your best-heeled foot forward if you want to catch that dream man, so follow these simple and handy tips to get there.

Tip 1 – Be Comfortable

Speed dating can involve sitting or standing for long periods at a time so it’s best to wear something you feel comfortable and confident in. This means perhaps swapping your stilettos for some lower heels that you don’t mind standing in, depending on the event.

If you’re sitting down, you’re best to avoid clothing that digs into your middle and makes you feel self-conscious. High-waisted skirts and skin-tight jeans are examples of this type of clothing, as they are particularly guilty of creating flesh overspill if you’re not careful!

Tip 2 – Show Some Skin

When you’re sitting down all night with your legs possibly under a table, the dashing gentleman sitting opposite you isn’t really going to care what kind of shoes you’re wearing. What he will notice however is your wonderfully alluring top half.

Opt for clothes that accentuate the good parts of your upper body and choose ones that disguise the parts you dislike. For example, if you feel self-conscious of your arms but have a great chest, go for a low cut top with draping chiffon sleeves that glide over any wobbly bits.

On a personal note, make sure to wear a bra that fits well. A combination of unflattering lighting and tight clothing can make any bra-fitting issues extremely visible to your unsuspecting speed-date partner. A good bra will also make you more comfortable and relaxed when you are chatting.

Tip 3 – Keep it Simple

You can’t deny that there are some pretty stylish men out there. But, for the average male who doesn’t have a clue about women’s fashion, an over-the-top trendy get-up can be pretty intimidating on a first date.

Your dates want to see the real you in the few minutes you have together, which is of course no easy task for most people. Leather hot pants or a bold orange lipstick might look cool in the right circumstances, but for a man who’s trying to get to know you quickly, they may be a little distracting.

A good outfit choice should reflect your personality – whether you are into floral dresses or jeans and blazers – but just don’t overdo it on the detail. Don’t mask your personal style with frumpy fashion, but do remember that in these circumstances less is definitely more.

This was a guest post from Terisa Able, a freelance writer from the UK, passionate about all things beauty and fashion. She loves to keep up with the latest trends on sites like Secret Salons US

Please Please Please Just Say Hello

By Doug on May 27, 2013 in Confidence

cartoon boy with cake

“Eighty percent of success is showing up” – Woody Allen

A guy walks up to a girl and says, “Hi, how are you?” The girl turns round and tells him to f*** off.

I’ve been coaching guys for six years and I’ve seen my clients approach thousands of women. I have never seen this sort of reaction. It only exists in your imagination. Real life is less dramatic: sometimes it goes well and sometimes the girl walks away and it’s a bit awkward. But it’s never too bad.

This morning I was reading a Guardian online article about the Neville brothers (two footballers most famous for their careers in football at Manchester United). The article quoted Woody Allen (see above) and made reference to the importance of that quote in their careers.

Talent or Luck or Effort?

Between them they made 144 appearances for England and won countless honours at Manchester United. The general wisdom is that they weren’t the most talented footballers but that they worked hard; that indeed they did just “show up” and break their backs to play professional football.

This needs to be put into context. Not anyone can just work hard and play professional football – they would have needed extraordinary talent either way – but there were probably young men their age all over the world with the same abilities.

There was huge luck involved (to play for the right team, with the right coach at the right time) but there were plenty of players who had that luck as well. No one in the football world would deny these two brothers massively over-achieved for their level of ability.

Just Tell Her

You know what I’m going to say. It’s not clever and it’s not difficult but you don’t do it and nor do most people. If you see someone you like the look of, please just go and say hello! As Woody Allen says, just show up.

Elsewhere in the article it talked about how Gary Neville would stay after training to work on his long throws. He was mocked by a far more talented player called Lee Sharpe. Sharpe was a better player, better looking, probably a lot cooler, but he didn’t have the same success as Neville. Here’s a look at their careers side by side:

Lee Sharpe
Manchester United Appearances 193
England Appearances 8
Major Trophies Won 10

Gary Neville
Manchester United Appearances 602
England Appearances 85
Major Trophies Won 20

This is perhaps a little unfair on Sharpe – who did have a good career in his own right and was ousted from the team by an emerging David Beckham – but these statistics tell a story of two players with very different levels of ability who did very different things in the game of football.

However you see yourself in terms of “ability with women” (a term which is wrong for so many reasons) just show up. Speak to girls you like and be like the Neville brothers – over-achieve!