This article is one of a series of First Date Tips that will ensure that your first dates go smoothly whatever you decide you do.
Today – why your first date is like a business pitch.
Be an Attractive Man
For some, romance is the heartbeat of the world. Men and women meet and fall in love and it is a special spark that attracts someone to someone else.
I am not an evolutionary biologist, and my observation comes solely from my own experience and that of my clients, but the “spark” that happens is sexual attraction.
Sexual attraction is the desire that grows within a woman to mate with a man because on some level she finds the thought of children with his characteristics desirable – she is biologically programmed to want the best genes.
I have seen guys go from having no attention from women to having a lot of attention. What happened? They changed how they behaved and they demonstrated the highly-desirable characteristics that women want.
What To Do
On a date you must convey these traits. It is like when you are going to a job interview. If for you know the company wants a smart, professional, committed, intelligent employee you will do everything in your power to convey this in the interview.
You will dress well, try to answer questions with insight and show that you will be committed. It is a useful consideration to think of a date as an interview. If you display certain characteristics, the girl will want your genes and, if that happens, you will have power and choice.
Thinking of it like an interview can be daunting and depressing, but you can shift your mindset to think of it as liberating. You aren’t going along to a date with the hope that the girl is attracted to you. Instead you are going along to show off what great genes and mating potential you have.
How To Do It
Well that is the million dollar question and one we have written hundreds of thousands of words on explaining. Below I have highlighted a few behaviours women want to see and a few tips for how to demonstrate them.
Social Awareness. Show that you are a sociable guy with good communication skills by engaging other people you come across on the date- the doorman, the bar girl or even the people on the table next to you. This is really easy if you are having a debate with your date. Just get another group to give their opinion: Right, let’s settle this! Guys- help us settle a debate. We’re talking about…” This shows her you can handle social situations- a must when she’s considering you as someone to take back to her family or friends.
Confidence. Don’t be argumentative for the sake of it but, if you have contrasting opinions, then air you argument. Certainly don’t agree blindly with what she says. Another way to show confidence is to make her qualify herself. By this I mean make her explain why she did something: Why did you choose your career? Why did you decide not to go travelling? She wants you to be discerning because it shows you have choice and she will subconsciously want to prove herself to you.
Emotional Depth. Connect with her emotionally. We have a good article on this aspect of how to talk to girls which you should read, but make sure you show you understand why she gets a certain emotion. So, if she loves ballet, showing you understand why she loves it will make her feel understood by you.
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