Too often, guys obsess over the best ways to approach women. They’d often be better off working out which women to approach in the first place.
If you walk around Thailand you will see loads of ageing European guys with pretty young Asian girls.
These men have a made a decision – they have realised that they can either marry a British women in their 50s or a Thai woman in their 20s.
For them, British women in their 20s seemed unattainable so they went to Thailand where they were easier to attract. Before you think I am advocating such a lifestyle change – I am not!
In any bar there will be girls that are open to an approach and girls that are simply not open. You want to go to the girls that are most open to your approach, like the guys in Thailand.
In Thailand it is of great kudos for a girl to attain a European husband. If a European guy approaches a Thai girl she is likely to be interested. So, without going to Thailand, how can you make approaching easy?
Ways to Approach Women
One way to ascertain how open the girl is to an approach, is by “opening her” without speaking- you can try waving or winking and then go and talk to the ones that react positively. We have written about this way over overcoming approach anxiety elsewhere on our blog.
For now I will assume that you don’t feel particularly comfortable doing this; I’ll assume you want to know how to approach women who are going to welcome your approach- even if it is out of the blue for them.
I would love to say that in any given place you can easily tell who will be open to an approach and who will be closed. But there are no cast-iron tell-tale signs and rules are near impossible to find. I can walk into a club and instinctively know which girls will be open to an approach, but this is from doing this so many times.
Which Women to Approach
Having said that, I have found that there are scenarios where women are especially open to being approached:
Tourists. This only works if you live in a major city, but tourists absolutely love to meet people from the city who can show them around. London, for example, is teeming with tourists from all over the world who are desperate for a local to show them some great places; they are also on holiday and in search of adventure. Enough said.
At the bar. Perfect for starting conversations when she has nothing better to do. If you have some good conversation it wouldn’t be a big step for her to agree to having a drink together elsewhere in the bar. We often suggest to new students that they stand at the bar for a bit with their drink at the start of the evening. That way, they can make conversations with girls who come to get a drink, without having to physically “approach” them.
At parties. If you have a mutual friend the girl will feel less threatened by you. Also, there is an expectation that people will speak to each other and be sociable at parties.
Approaching is never easy but don’t beat yourself up by trying to stop girls on Oxford Street or in top clubs if it just isn’t happening. Seek out situations where your approach will be welcomed. And check out this article on the best Ways to Approach Women.