How to Talk to Women in Bars

Girls dancing at a club

Image courtesy of Gabriella Fabri

How to Talk to Women in Bars

Most guys come to us because they want to know how to talk to women in bars. For some reason they see this as the pantheon of picking up women. The truth is that picking up women in bars is one of many options, and not always the best one.

A bar can be an intimidating and lonely place if you don’t feel comfortable or if things are going badly for you. The pulsating noise, intimidating women, air of sexual tension and people in various stages of inebriation can make picking up women in bars a difficult challenge. Still many of our clients want to focus on this area so I have written this article to give you a couple of pointers.

A Woman’s Perspective

Try to see the bar through the eyes of a beautiful woman. She has spent a long time getting ready and knows she’s looking good. She walks into a bar, covets the admiring glances and feels powerful and sexy. She knows that guys will talk to her (the brave ones) and she will enjoy being in a position of power. She knows she could have any guy in the bar and she need not compromise. She may end up talking to a guy or she may deem the potential suitors unworthy- it is her choice.

She knows the drill and she conveys this power. She’s like the CEO at the head of the table who knows he makes the decisions and has to talk to hundreds of minions every day. He may be nice; he may be brusque but he won’t let it affect him. He’s probably not like this at home but, when placed in a position of power, his behaviour is likely to change.

The Challenges of Talking to Women in Bars

So you can see that approaching the beautiful girl at the bar is difficult. She has choosing power, but this doesn’t make her a bad person. It is basic economics- she is the scarce commodity which you (desperately) want. So the price is high: the price is great confidence, style, charisma, charm and sexual confidence. It is not my intention to paint a glum picture but the truth about picking up beautiful women in bars is that it can be difficult- very difficult.

Advice on how to pick up women in bars can be found across the length and breadth of our blog. Look good, be confident and have great banter. But I shall assume you are twenty minutes away from a night out, desperate to pick up and looking for a last bit of inspiration. Here are a couple of things that will help you tonight:

Tip 1 – Be Sociable

A phrase coined by a “Pick-Up Artist” called Adam Lyons is “social circle game”. This basically involves being sociable with everyone in the bar so that other people think you are popular and your status in the bar increases. This can work well.

Make an effort to be super friendly to everyone in the bar as soon as you walk in. Ask them how there night is going, say cheers or have a question ready to ask them like “do you know any good bars”.

Although Lyons’ theory does have some validity (and can work when you are very good at it) the main benefit of this isn’t to improve your status but to get you into the swing of things. When I play golf I always hit fifty balls on the range before I go out, so that when I stand on the first tee it feels natural. Follow this by analogy on a night out and your conversations will feel more natural

Tip 2 – Be Sincere

Our clients get their best results when they do one simple thing- be sincere. If you really want to know how to talk to women in bars, just tell the truth. If you see a girl that you like, tell her that you like her and the reason why in a sincere way. You will almost always garner a positive reaction even in the buzzing energy-filled cauldron of a west end bar on a Friday.

Losers ask questions- you must just talk about anything and with energy. Whatever is in your head just talk. We have some great articles on what to say but you haven’t time for this so just talk- take the strain, show you can carry a conversation and don’t seem too interested in her.

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