Just Tell Her – Unexpected Consequences

Welcome to the Just Tell Her project. Here you can follow our experiences and adventures as we approach 1000 women in London during 2012 and tell them – very simply – that we like them. No games, no tricks, no chat up lines. We see a girl we like and we Just Tell Her – and see what happens.

We run a coaching company which helps men to improve their confidence with women; over the past few years we have come to believe that being genuine, authentic and honest is the best way to meet women and have great relationships.

Instead of just telling people that this stuff works, we want to demonstrate what actually happens when you take our advice. So we’re going to take it ourselves. The road will not be smooth; there will be many highs and lows, but we hope that by seeing what happens on our journey you’ll be inspired to give this a go for yourself.

The Girl

With some girls, you have no idea how they’re going to react when you approach them. With some girls, you know they’re going to react badly – everything about their body language, the way they’re dressed and the look on their face lets you know it’s going to be hard work.

And sometimes you see girls who you know are going to be fun, who are just waiting for a guy to chat them up. This was one of those times.

Doug and I were walking around Covent Garden when I spotted her. She was wearing tiny denim shorts and a little cut-off t-shirt showing her flat tummy. She had a swish in her hips and a glint in her eye.

Girls like this used to intimidate me. I’d find their sexiness overwhelming and think it would be impossible to approach them. But I’ve come to realise that the more confident someone is, the more open they are to meeting new people. Nowadays, the sexier a girl is, the easier I find it to approach her.

The Approach

I jogged over, took off my sunglasses and told her exactly what I was thinking:

Alex: Hey! I know this is going to sound a bit crazy, but I saw you walking past and I thought – wow, that girl is the sexiest girl in the whole of Covent Garden.
Russian Girl: Thank you.
Alex: So now I’m here I thought I’d try to chat you up for a while. That is, unless there a scary boyfriend watching us right now.
Russian Girl: Ha ha. Well he’s not watching us; he’s at work. But yes there is a boyfriend.
Alex: You sound Russian – don’t tell me he’s a huge Russian guy!
Russian Girl: He’s Spanish actually. But it was very nice for you to come and talk to me…

At this point I was about to make my excuses and find Doug – she was a very sweet girl and was being friendly, but she’d made her point. It was now that things became rather strange.

A lady wearing a dark blue Cadbury t-shirt walked over to us and said: “Would you both be able to spare a few minutes to try some ice cream?” I was just about to explain that we didn’t really know each other, when the Russian girl took my arm and said, “We’ve always got time for ice cream”.

We were led to this mobile tent in the middle of Covent Garden, blindfolded, and spent the next ten minutes trying different ice creams. It really was quite a bizarre experience to be sat next to this gorgeous stranger, wearing a blindfold and struggling to feed each other bits of Magnums and Dairy Milk choc ices.

The Aftermath

As we left, I tried a half-hearted stab at getting her number. I knew she had a boyfriend, but she was a very cool girl and I hoped we could be friends:

Alex: So Russian girl, that was a fun and unexpected ten minutes!
Russian Girl: {Flirting} Yes, I think it was the most magical time I’ve had so far in London.
Alex: I know we’ve only just met, but how about we exchange numbers and organise a night out? I’ll invite a load of mates, you invite a load of mates and we’ll have a great time…
Russian Girl: {Letting me down gently} I think we should just keep this afternoon as our special moment.
Alex: You know what, you’re right! It was lovely to meet you. Your boyfriend is a lucky guy.
Russian Girl: You too.

The girl having a boyfriend is one of the “worst case scenarios” that guys visualise when they talk themselves out of approaching. Well this wasn’t exactly a super smooth approach, and the girl did have a boyfriend. But I still ended up having a fun flirtatious time with a very attractive girl. I felt great for the rest of the day. And they gave me a free choc ice.