Holistic Speed Dating Tips for Men
When most people give speed dating tips for men, they focus on the three minutes – from when the clock starts to when it stops.
When most guys go speed dating, they concentrate all their effort in that tiny sliver of time. But speed dating strategy is about the whole evening, and achieving success relies on getting every step right.
Last week I told you how to prepare for speed dating before you even leave the house. I explained that getting in a great mood and in the right frame of mind is so important when it comes to getting the most out of speed dating.
In the second article on this mini-series of speed dating tips for men, I’m going to tell you how to make your speed dating evening successful from the moment you arrive in the venue. With speed dating, you’re being judged the second you walk in the door, so here are my top five speed dating tips:
Tip 1 – Don’t Scope Out the Girls
When you get to the venue, take some time to familiarise yourself with the surroundings. Have a walk around, get a drink, chat to the barman. Don’t start checking out the girls – you’ll have plenty of time for that when you’re speed dating them.
If you walk in and immediately start scoping out “the talent” you’ll look desperate and creepy. Remember, you have a very limited time to make an impact, and a good first impression can give you a real head start.
Tip 2 – Smile!
Make sure you it’s clear to everyone that you’re happy, relaxed and having a good time with your friend.
The best way to do this is just to get a drink, sit down and chat together. It will get you in a good mood, make you less nervous and will make you act more natural in circumstances many find stressful. Happiness is contagious, so you will likely soon find yourself surrounded by smiling faces.
Tip 3 – Talk to a Few Girls Before It Starts
By casually chatting to some of the girls before the event properly starts, you can send out the message that you’re socially competent and don’t NEED speed dating as such.
Conversations before the speed dating start can also help to build a bit of rapport – when you see the girl in the date you don’t have to start from scratch. You can simply carry on from where you left off, which gives you a chance to reveal another layer to your personality.
Tip 4 – Don’t Mention Speed Dating
When you’re chatting with the girls before the speed dating starts, talk to them as if you’ve approached them in a normal bar. Everyone thinks speed dating is a bit weird (which it is), so try to make everything seem as normal and comfortable as possible.
Don’t draw attention to what you’re about to do. After all, you only have a few minutes to impress the girls, so why waste time talking about something neither of you cares about?
Tip 5 – Have a Good Answer Ready
Prepare some answers to some common questions. For example, most girls will ask you something like: “why are you speed dating?” or “so what brings you here?”
You’re pretty much guaranteed to be asked these sorts of questions, so give them a bit of thought. You want to tell the truth, but also to make sure your answer puts you in good light:
Good answer: “I just thought it would be fun”
Good answer: “I like meeting new people”
Bad answer: “My mate persuaded me to come”. This isn’t true, and will only make it look like you’re someone who does what other people tell you.
Bad answer: “I don’t know”. This makes you look indecisive and unimaginative.
Oh and don’t react by asking the girl the same question. It’s not a pleasant question to be asked, and there are better directions to take the conversation in the limited time you have.
Check back in a week or so for the final step in mastering speed dating: Speed Dating Tips – After It’s Finished.