In yesterday’s article I gave some tips on managing the first five minutes when talking to women in bars.
They can work just as well on the street or in a coffee shop.
But I wrote them for talking to women in bars, because it’s what most people think of when they think of starting conversations with strangers.
If you can get the first five minutes right, you should find that the rest of the conversation takes care of itself.
Today’s article has another five tips for that critical moment after you’ve said hello.
5 More Tips on What to Say Next
1. Tell her an anecdote. This probably wouldn’t work straight away but, once you get a few minutes into the conversation, tell her a short story or anecdote. This should resonate with you and with your personality. I often tell a funny story about the pupils that I teach at school.
2. Give her a tip. This works well if the girl doesn’t know London well: give her a tip for a great restaurant or place to go and see. A secret garden, great view or fun bar are all good things to tell her about. A tip I give to people who are not from London is to go and walk up the Monument by Monument tube station.
3. Elicit a hook and run with it. You might be lucky enough to approach a chatty girl. But, as a rule, be prepared to drive the conversation forward. A great topic is something relevant to her, and you don’t even need to know anything about it. If she’s from Italy, talk about what you think of when you think of Italy, why you like Italian people or what you’d love to do in Italy.
4. Comment on the surroundings. For some reason, when both of you are looking at something external, it takes the pressure off you. If you’re talking to women in bars, talk about what you do or don’t like about where you’re drinking. If you’re you’re walking around in everyday life, think about how you could initiate a conversation with a stranger about the surroundings
5. Make assumptions about her. It can be fun to make playful assumptions about the girl you’re talking to. If she’s a teacher you might say: I bet you’re a real disciplinarian – you don’t take any s**t. If she’s an accountant: You’re the glamorous one who wins the clients and also does all the work.
There’s no right or wrong way to talk to women in bars, but having a few different ideas up your sleeve can be very useful, especially if you’re new to this.