The Dance Floor Demystified

Girls dancing at a club

Image Courtesy of Gabriella Fabri

Good news – getting good at dance floor game does not require learning how to dance! Which is particularly good news for me because, after years of trying, I still can’t hear the beat you’re supposed to move to and always make people laugh when I try. Being a top quality dancer may help a little but you can still be highly effective at attracting women even if you have two left feet.

The Scenario

We have all been there! You are in the comfort of the bar area looking out onto the mass of tangled gyrating bodies. There are loads of cute girls out there, dancing, having fun. You’d love to be out there with them, interacting and having fun.

It seems a big step: from the safety of the bar area where everything makes sense and some of the conversational techniques you have learned are working out, onto the savannah of the dance floor with the hot girls and the guys who seem born to dance. But, in most clubs, as the night goes on the game moves from the bar to the dance floor so you’d better be ready!

Get Happy

You have to have energy and be in a good frame of mind. Good dance floor game can’t look as though you’re out there hunting for girls. This is the single biggest turn-off for girls and they will see it coming from a mile away. So you have to be out there to enjoy yourself. Whatever works for you, don’t underestimate the importance of getting yourself smiling and in a good mood.

I have talked before about the idea of “social proof” – it is a big buzz word in the “PUA” community and it makes a lot of sense. If you are surrounded by a load of friends, and you’re all having a good time, you’ll look like a sociable guy who has a lot of friends

People take their lead from others; if a girl sees you having a good time with other people she is likely to think that you are a cool guy. If you tread on the dance floor alone, you may be giving off some serious serial killer vibes. If you are not out with your friends you can open other groups and join them whilst they are dancing. Whatever you do, be aware of the power of the group.

Get Close But Don’t Look

Bad approaching can be seen on any dance floor across the country on any given Saturday night. Picture two or three cute girls dancing in a circle and some weasel lingering on the outside desperate for a girl to grind against him. I always want to say:

This is not going to happen! You are making it totally clear that you don’t know how to approach women, that you are sad enough to loiter on near them for ages hoping to be thrown a bone and that you don’t have the balls to approach them.

The weasel’s approach will sometimes pay dividends in the dark hours of a morning when a girl is too drunk to resist- but it is so far from optimal as to be embarrassing. What you should is dance near to the girls you want to approach but don’t look at them; make it clear you’re engrossed in the dancing of your own group.

Approach the Girl

You should be standing at 70 or 80 degrees to the girl you want to dance with. You can then instigate eye contact with her by looking over towards the group but not actually looking at her. Out of the corner of your eye you will be able to see if she looks over at you. If she does, look at her and give a broad and friendly smile.

At this stage you MUST go over and approach her. You can approach her in a number of ways (my article on approaching on the dance floor goes into this in more detail). The strongest approach is to walk over (holding eye contact) and hold out your hand; if she takes it then whisper something like: “You are a great dancer, let’s dance together.”

The Dancing

At this stage you’re probably thinking: “Yes, but I can’t dance so now I’m screwed!” The fact you can’t dance is, fortunately, not that relevant. Once you have taken her hand, hold it up so that she is obliged to spin around. Your job is to then stand there are allows her dance around you with spin and pirouettes – you can push and pull her a little as well.

It needn’t be overtly sexy but it should be fun, alpha and dominating. Your ultimate objective is to lead her away from the dance floor and to a bar or a seat where the two of you can talk properly.

If you want to take approaching girls on the dance floor seriously it won’t hurt to learn a few moves of salsa dancing. Salsa dancing has been a mainstay of the “PUA” community for years now and it does actually work well. Being able to go up to a girl and deliver some Salsa dancing moves will go down really well.

Once you have built some attraction and are dancing with the girl on the dance floor your next task is to get her to leave with you to take a seat or get a drink. My next article shows you how to do this aspect of dance floor game.

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