The Pressure of Top-Level Golf
Today’s article: how a top golfer can help you pick up girls in a club! I watched the recent US Open with intense interest. Rory McIlroy had a seemingly unassailable lead going into the final round. A matter of weeks earlier he had thrown away a lead in the US Masters, a tournament of similar prestige in the golf world.
For a young golfer winning a Major is a true announcement onto the world stage and many exceptional golfers have played their whole career without winning one. My interest in this article is what was going through McIlroy’s mind in the hours before he teed off.
When asked if he was calm before teeing off he answered, “No!” He was by all accounts very nervous before playing. And yet he still held on to win by a record margin. A lot of guys tell me they become incredibly nervous before going on a night out and are desperate for a solution to these nerves. But, as McIlroy showed, you can still achieve success without totally overcoming your nerves- you just have to harness them in the right way.
This all gets started before you even get to the club. In fact, a big part of knowing how to pick up girls in the club involves mastering the hour before you set off.
There is much written in the “pick-up” and sporting world about this. Advice ranges from playing loud music to saying affirmations (positive comments about yourself over and over again) to visualising success. We have personally experimented with a number of strategies for building belief and confidence in the hour before going out. Our research has led us to a couple of excellent strategies:
Strategy 1 – Choose an Alter Ego
Pick an alter ego for the night. It could be Brad Pitt in Fight Club, Colin Farrell in Tigerland, Matt Damon in Bourne Identity, Matt LeBlanc in Friends or Daniel Craig in James Bond. To adapt this persona, watch videos of them in action; if you have time watch the whole film.
Immerse yourself in the character. Try to talk like them, walk like them and dress like them. For your night out you ARE that character. This works on two levels. By studying alpha male characters you will take on some of their traits. You will have a point of reference for important body language states such as how you stand, eye contact and how you use your hands. If you study someone this will definitely rub off on you.
Secondly, if you are “in role” as, say, James Bond you should feel more able to approach women. Rejection will feel like a rejection of the character. You are hiding behind the character and this allows you to be more risky and try different things. If it doesn’t work, it’s not you that the girl didn’t like- it was James Bond.
Strategy 2 – Practise Your Openers
If you are not talking a lot you will be unable to express yourself well. If you haven’t spoken a word for two hours and then you try to approach woman you will not be lucid – you should definitely warm up.
A great way to warm up is to practice your opener (in role of your character of course). Decide how you will make your first three approaches and practice each one in the mirror. It is very awkward looking at yourself in the mirror, and subjecting yourself to this awkwardness will help prepare you for approach number one.
Take on an alter ego and practice using him. If it helps think of it as being an actor taking on a part. Good luck and happy approaching!