Image courtesy of Jenikahycc
Most people will tell you that using pick up lines isn’t one of the best ways to approach women.
Certainly the old lines like “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” give off all the wrong signals.
They show that you can’t think of anything interesting to say and that you have to hide behind a rehearsed line.
Having said all this, the humble pick up line can still be a great tool when approaching women. Just change the context:
You: Hi there, how are you today?
Girl: Good, you?
You: Great thanks. My friends and I were over there having a debate.
Girl: Erm ok…
You: So it started when I told them that I think you are really cute but that I didn’t know how to approach you.
Girl: {smiling} Right…
You: We toyed around with a few possibilities for a while and came up with something we thought would work quite well.
Girl: Ha ha ok then- I’m intrigued.
You: {smiling and not acting nervously at all} Well I’m a little nervous about it, and it took us a while to come up with, but I think it could work.
Girl: Ok let’s hear it then!
You: {deadpan face breaking into a smile} Ok here goes-“ I hope you know CPR… because you take my breath away”.
Girl: {laughing} That is really is cheesy!
You: Yeah, you’re probably right. How effective do you think chat up lines really are?
Why It Works – Honesty and Humour
This works because although you signal your intentions by telling the girl she is cute, you have some conversation to back it up so that things don’t become awkward. In order to give the girl some context, you tell a story and paint a picture of why you’ve approached her. And you intrigue her by delaying the delivery of the chat up line; she is interested to hear what you have to say next.
Note also the use of humour. You’re self-deprecating about how unsure you are, but this is offset by a relaxed and calm demeanour which shows you’re actually only teasing about your nerves. This demonstration of irony shows good social calibration. And you poke fun at the other guys who probably are using chat up lines. This immediately sets you apart.
