In a bar or club your friends can be your biggest asset. Unfortunately, the standard approach for a lot of guys on a night out is to belittle each other to make themselves look better in front of women.
It can be really powerful to actually be positive with your friends around women. You are being validated by a friend- they can say how great you are in a way that you can’t. It shows that you have loyal friends which must mean that you are a high-value guy and it allows you to show humility by brushing off these comments.
Example of Great Wingmanship
The first experience I had of this was on a date with a girl I met in a bookshop. We had agreed to go on a date and, before the date, I took her round to a friend’s house for some drinks. One friend who is extremely adept with women said this to the girl:
Well done for getting on a date with my friend Doug. He is incredibly picky with women and almost never invites women back to meet his friends.
He said it in a very genuine way and you could see she was visibly taken aback. It helped how she saw me greatly- there was no immediate benefit to this guy but I’m glad he did it.
You’re probably thinking that this can sound contrived and you’re right, it can. The trick is to make it sound very genuine and sincere- ideally it would actually BE sincere. A good way to “big up” your friend is to do it when he is not there, perhaps if he goes to the bar to get a round of drinks in.
What To Say
Here are some examples of what you might say:
Doug is such a great guy he really helped me out one time with moving house even though he had a shocking hangover… Doug has been so unlucky with women in the past- he has girls falling at is feet but he always seems to choose the wrong type of girl… No one has a bad word to say about Doug. He’s the kind of guy who just seems to get on with anyone.
Now this is still very powerful coming from a guy friend but, if you have a girl out with you, these comments can be like gold dust. Just being out with a girl demonstrates great social value but, if she is saying wonderful things behind your back, then this will supercharge your value with girls! So many times I have been out with friends that are girls and, even without any of the “bigging up”, just by their presence I have been in a far better position.
If you don’t have female friends this is clearly going to be difficult. If you do, then they are probably going to be more willing to help than you think. Girls love this stuff.